It's alarming to not know what side of a controversial issue to stand on, when the issue is of the utmost importance, when the issue directly affects every important part of your life.
Marriage equality. Good or bad?
I'll talk your ear off on the reasons marriage should be available to all people. First, to deny it, is something we call discrimination, ladies and gentleman. Not cool. It was only about 40 years ago when people were shocked at "miscegenation," and Loving vs. Virginia was actually a case to be tried. I'm not saying racism isn't still a problem, as if GLBT issues have replaced it as the "new" prejudice, but I am saying that there are commonalities in all oppressions, and that ignoring those commonalities is why we are here, denying people the right to marriage.
Marriage is a basic right of citizenship---as well as military service. These two institutions, marriage and the military, are central to our understanding of America and our culture, and our place within it. These two institutions exclude gay people. "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" was an attempt by Clinton to end the overall ban on gays in the military, but it ended up backfiring and we are left with the witch-hunting tactics of "Don't..."
Along with marriage come children, and family, more generally. Adoption by same-sex individuals, or artificial insemination, surrogacy, etc, is sought after, and hotly contested. I think there's something wrong when we equate what sort of sex people have, and who they have it with, to what kind of parent they might turn out to be.
So for years I've believed these things, understood them, discussed them, fought for them. I've sent money to campaigns over it, screamed about it, not dated people because of it. I've made friends around it. So when I started reading Michael Warner and George Chauncey this semester I was left thinking...
Um...uhh???
In fighting for equality, it's clear that the movement has quit fighting for acceptance. That is, acceptance for QUEER people, people who are gay and wish to live their lives separate from heterosexual norms. They don't want to get married, or serve in the military, or have children. The inclusion into these ways of society are assimilation, carving a space out in a world that isn't theres. And, on moral principle, a world they don't want.
Marriage is a discriminating institution. Aside for excluding gays and lesbians, and previously excluding interracial coupling, it works to legitimate sex in very narrow terms. It works to say when and what sex is okay. It helps to judge those who wish to remain outside of it.
The idea that part of the "gay agenda" (hehe, couldn't help it) is military inclusion is rather interesting, considering the early gay liberation movement, which came out of, or was parallel to, the anti-war movement.
So where the hell are we in the movement? Somewhere strange, indeed. While I think that everyone should be able to choose marriage if they want to, I realize now that the more people getting married, the more it will work to uphold marriage as the ultimate and only legitimate relationship, and that marriage isn't a choice, really. Choosing to be outside of it, straight people face endless questions and ridicule, judgment, and the continued notion that they are somehow not a real family, or are "living in sin." So if we allow gay and lesbians to get married, won't that just further stigmatize those who choose not to? Won't be creating sort of a secondary marginalization?
It's interesting stuff, folks. And I don't quite know what camp I'm in. Of course I really believe we should be DE-legislating, taking away the 1,049 rights a couple gains when they marry, and putting us all on the same even field...but I doubt this Judeo-Christian, marriage-centric society will do that anytime soon. I think we'll allow same-sex marriage first. With that said, doesn't that speak to a growing conservatism in the GLBT movement? If the real radical change would come from changing society as a whole, and we're looking at merely bolstering the discriminatory systems already in place... then what the hell are we doing? And where is the movement going?